That said, there are still stigmas to navigate in age gap relationships \u2014 like friends gossiping about your age difference or others joking about stereotypes. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship right now or you\u2019re considering one, therapists are here to answer your burning questions. Here\u2019s the best dating advice for age gap relationships, according to experts.<\/p>\n
What Defines An Age Gap Relationship?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n![\"Two](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/21\/132db43d-13fc-40d6-92a3-44e444951a6e-getty-1372758175.jpg?w=374&h=249&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&dpr=2&fp-x=0.484&fp-y=0.398\")
<\/picture><\/div>Catherine Delahaye\/Photodisc\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nMarriage therapist and relationship expert\u00a0Celeste Labadie, LMFT, founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling, defines an age gap relationship as a couple with an age difference of 10 years or beyond. Although age gap relationships have become more normalized, many stereotypes still exist in mainstream culture \u2014 like the \u201ccougar\u201d preying on young male partners or the attractive \u201cgold digger\u201d dating a handsome, wealthy older man for money.<\/p>\n
Often, dating someone with a wide age gap can spark salacious questions, like, \u201cHow do you know you won\u2019t outgrow each other? Isn\u2019t it a little weird that you\u2019re dating someone with barely any life experience?\u201d People may even question your ethics and challenge your choice to date someone older or younger than you. But even with an age difference, you can still find common ground through shared hobbies, values, and beliefs. Yet it\u2019s a dating topic that still sparks controversy and tons of outside opinions.<\/p>\n
Case in point: Florence Pugh and Zach Braff.\u00a0Although they\u2019ve since broken up, their relationship was a lightning rod for criticism. When Florence soft-launched Zach to the world, she was met with\u00a0a hailstorm of negative comments\u00a0about their nearly 20-year age difference. Yet, she defended the relationship. She was in love and actively chose him as her partner. If she didn\u2019t have a problem with it, why should the public?<\/p>\n
Advice For Age Gap Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\nNavigating an age gap relationship can be challenging, especially with people constantly sharing their opinions on your dating life. To tune out the noise and focus on your romantic connection, Hill and Labadie recommend a few things to keep in mind:<\/p>\n
1. Admit Your Differences<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n![\"Age](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/11\/0c48a24a-06e5-4118-a804-682b259e7ae1-getty-1173815483.jpg?w=374&h=249&fit=crop&crop=faces&dpr=2\")
<\/picture><\/div>South_agency\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nIf you\u2019re dating someone and there\u2019s an age gap, you may have different ideas of what your relationship milestones are. For example, if your partner is super established with their career, but you love living with a bunch of roommates and bar hopping around Brooklyn until 4 a.m., it\u2019s important to voice what you value. Hill adds that being in an age gap relationship can create more uncertainty about life plans since you two might be at different life stages.<\/p>\n
Acknowledging your differences while celebrating common ground can create space for transparency. Actively make time to check in about your timeline throughout the course of the relationship. If you have differences, don\u2019t be afraid to call them out. The more you have conversations about your future goals, the more comfortable and confident you\u2019ll feel in the long-term.<\/p>\n
2. Accept That Friends & Family May Not Understand<\/strong><\/h3>\nNot having your relationship accepted can be hurtful, isolating, and discouraging. \u201c[Make sure] you\u2019re prepared for the possibility that not everyone will support your decision,\u201d Hill says.\u00a0<\/strong>If your loved ones don\u2019t approve, there are things you can to do manage the situation.<\/p>\nInstead of pretending the age gap isn\u2019t a factor, address it head-on by\u00a0asking for support\u00a0from your family and friends. For example, request for them to get to know your significant other before making funny jokes about their age. Sometimes, they may need \u201cwarming up\u201d to the idea of your age gap relationship. To help, try highlighting the good qualities about them, or even mentioning common interests your partner and your family share \u2014 like their mutual love of board games or taste in live music.<\/p>\n
If you sense that others feel uncomfortable about the age gap, ask them why. Many people judge age gap relationships because of overgeneralized stigmas, but that doesn\u2019t mean your relationship should be stereotyped, too. Help your friends and family understand why you chose your partner. You don\u2019t necessarily have to ask for their approval, but talking to them about your relationship can help them keep an open mind.<\/p>\n
During this process, let your partner be your teammate. They most likely understand the awkwardness you\u2019re dealing with, so help each other as you field uncomfortable questions from friends and deal with suspicions from family members.<\/p>\n
3. Don\u2019t Be Afraid To Address Stereotypes With Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n![\"An](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/21\/785e98b7-3263-482e-b9d0-bfd24bf0e280-getty-1432949192.jpg?w=374&h=249&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&dpr=2&fp-x=0.6253&fp-y=0.336\")
<\/picture><\/div>Milena Magazin\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nGenerally, people have misconceptions about age gap relationships because of the implied power imbalance, potential fantasy fulfillment, or perceived mismatched maturity levels. With power, there\u2019s the myth of a younger woman dating someone twice her age and thinking she has \u201cdaddy issues.\u201d Sometimes people assume things about financial status, like if a woman dates an older guy, he\u2019s a\u00a0sugar daddy.<\/p>\n
Maybe your situation parallels one of these examples more than you would like. It\u2019s normal to feel uncomfortable about it, and you may even start to wonder if any of the stereotypes are true for your relationship. Instead of tip-toeing around the elephant in the room, bring up the topic directly with your partner to quell your anxiety. Here are a few questions you can ask to address any\u00a0insecurities you may have:<\/p>\n
\n- Does my age play a factor in your attraction toward me?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel like our age gap impacts the relationship at all?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel comfortable hanging out with my friends?<\/li>\n
- Are you embarrassed or ashamed to date someone my age?<\/li>\n
- Are we prepared to deal with the stereotypes about why people believe we\u2019re together?<\/li>\n
- How do you suggest we talk to our friends and family who judge the relationship?<\/li>\n
- Is this casual or can you see a long-term future together with me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Focus On Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\nIf you\u2019re unsure about moving forward with a romantic partner purely because of the age gap, pause. Don\u2019t let other people\u2019s criticisms and judgment be the only reason why you don\u2019t pursue romance. At the end of the day, if you\u2019ve met someone you\u2019re really into, it\u2019s worth taking the leap and seeing how the relationship plays out \u2014 as long as you determine it\u2019s truly a\u00a0healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, protect yourself by approaching the romantic\u00a0<\/strong>connection with care and ensuring the foundation of your relationship is built on trust. When you\u2019re confident in your worth, other people\u2019s opinions become less important.<\/p>\nLabadie, who is\u00a0<\/strong>in an age gap marriage with her husband who is 18 years older, recommends focusing on your relationship\u2019s strengths. \u201cWhat\u2019s important is knowing why the relationship works. No one else\u2019s approval will help your relationship,\u201d Labadie says. Lively and Reynolds could be concerned about other people\u2019s opinions of them, or they could be making cookies and having movie nights (and probably\u00a0trolling each other online). You deserve to enjoy your relationship, too.<\/p>\nCan Age Gap Relationships Last?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n![\"An](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/20\/31f78e41-0225-4edf-9922-351bef38b8ad-getty-1434479813.jpg?w=374&h=249&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&dpr=2&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.356\")
<\/picture><\/div>FilippoBacci\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nResearch isn\u2019t entirely conclusive on the ideal age gap for a relationship or its connection to long-term relationship success. In fact, there appear to be mixed reviews.<\/p>\n
A 2019 study by the\u00a0Journal of Population Economics<\/em>\u00a0reported that couples with an age gap of one to three years had\u00a0high levels of relationship satisfaction. The study noted that the more significant the age difference (six to 10 years), the more likely for dissatisfaction to increase. However, a 2016 study by the\u00a0Galen Medicine Journal\u00a0<\/em>revealed that as long as the age gap between couples is less than 10 years \u2014 compared with more than 10 years \u2014\u00a0relationship satisfaction is actually higher.<\/p>\nThese findings might suggest that similar-aged relationships are more likely to be successful, but nuance matters. In both studies, researchers point out that a couple\u2019s success is not because they\u2019re born around the same time as much as it is about similar values, maturity levels, future goals, and lifestyles.<\/p>\n
Dating someone with an age gap may present a certain set of challenges, but Hill says it\u2019s nothing that you can\u2019t overcome with honesty and communication. \u201cIf everyone involved feels happy, loved, safe, and able to communicate well, there is no need to treat this relationship any differently than any other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Remember, Do What\u2019s Best For You<\/h2>\n
Even if you\u2019re secure in your age gap relationship, people may still talk. During those moments, keep in mind that usually, their comments are less about your relationship and more about their internalized views on love and dating. To combat the noise, it\u2019s crucial you know yourself and what you want so you can stay centered. Reflect on your personal values so that when people challenge your connection, you\u2019ll feel grounded enough to overcome insecurities and any external pressure.<\/p>\n
Age gap relationships can totally last, but it takes two to tango. Being a couple means communicating openly, being honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and putting in consistent effort. No one can answer if you\u2019re in the right relationship except for you. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship and you\u2019re both actively committed to learning and growing together, why not see where things can go?<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Don\u2019t deny yourself an experience to conform to social pressures. Take it from Labadie: \u201cIf it\u2019s a good relationship, it will last. If two people feel connected, their hearts are open, they like each other, they grow together, they repair disagreements and value the relationship, it will last as long as they want it to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Experts:<\/em><\/p>\nDr. Sarah E. Hill<\/em>, research psychologist and research consultant with\u00a0<\/em>Cougar Life<\/em><\/p>\nCeleste Labadie<\/em>, LMFT, relationship expert and founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling<\/em><\/p>\n\nThis article was originally published on\u00a0
![\"Two](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/21\/132db43d-13fc-40d6-92a3-44e444951a6e-getty-1372758175.jpg?w=1320&h=880&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&fp-x=0.484&fp-y=0.398)
<\/picture><\/div>Marriage therapist and relationship expert\u00a0Celeste Labadie, LMFT, founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling, defines an age gap relationship as a couple with an age difference of 10 years or beyond. Although age gap relationships have become more normalized, many stereotypes still exist in mainstream culture \u2014 like the \u201ccougar\u201d preying on young male partners or the attractive \u201cgold digger\u201d dating a handsome, wealthy older man for money.<\/p>\n
Often, dating someone with a wide age gap can spark salacious questions, like, \u201cHow do you know you won\u2019t outgrow each other? Isn\u2019t it a little weird that you\u2019re dating someone with barely any life experience?\u201d People may even question your ethics and challenge your choice to date someone older or younger than you. But even with an age difference, you can still find common ground through shared hobbies, values, and beliefs. Yet it\u2019s a dating topic that still sparks controversy and tons of outside opinions.<\/p>\n
Case in point: Florence Pugh and Zach Braff.\u00a0Although they\u2019ve since broken up, their relationship was a lightning rod for criticism. When Florence soft-launched Zach to the world, she was met with\u00a0a hailstorm of negative comments\u00a0about their nearly 20-year age difference. Yet, she defended the relationship. She was in love and actively chose him as her partner. If she didn\u2019t have a problem with it, why should the public?<\/p>\n
Advice For Age Gap Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\nNavigating an age gap relationship can be challenging, especially with people constantly sharing their opinions on your dating life. To tune out the noise and focus on your romantic connection, Hill and Labadie recommend a few things to keep in mind:<\/p>\n
1. Admit Your Differences<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nSouth_agency\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nIf you\u2019re dating someone and there\u2019s an age gap, you may have different ideas of what your relationship milestones are. For example, if your partner is super established with their career, but you love living with a bunch of roommates and bar hopping around Brooklyn until 4 a.m., it\u2019s important to voice what you value. Hill adds that being in an age gap relationship can create more uncertainty about life plans since you two might be at different life stages.<\/p>\n
Acknowledging your differences while celebrating common ground can create space for transparency. Actively make time to check in about your timeline throughout the course of the relationship. If you have differences, don\u2019t be afraid to call them out. The more you have conversations about your future goals, the more comfortable and confident you\u2019ll feel in the long-term.<\/p>\n
2. Accept That Friends & Family May Not Understand<\/strong><\/h3>\nNot having your relationship accepted can be hurtful, isolating, and discouraging. \u201c[Make sure] you\u2019re prepared for the possibility that not everyone will support your decision,\u201d Hill says.\u00a0<\/strong>If your loved ones don\u2019t approve, there are things you can to do manage the situation.<\/p>\nInstead of pretending the age gap isn\u2019t a factor, address it head-on by\u00a0asking for support\u00a0from your family and friends. For example, request for them to get to know your significant other before making funny jokes about their age. Sometimes, they may need \u201cwarming up\u201d to the idea of your age gap relationship. To help, try highlighting the good qualities about them, or even mentioning common interests your partner and your family share \u2014 like their mutual love of board games or taste in live music.<\/p>\n
If you sense that others feel uncomfortable about the age gap, ask them why. Many people judge age gap relationships because of overgeneralized stigmas, but that doesn\u2019t mean your relationship should be stereotyped, too. Help your friends and family understand why you chose your partner. You don\u2019t necessarily have to ask for their approval, but talking to them about your relationship can help them keep an open mind.<\/p>\n
During this process, let your partner be your teammate. They most likely understand the awkwardness you\u2019re dealing with, so help each other as you field uncomfortable questions from friends and deal with suspicions from family members.<\/p>\n
3. Don\u2019t Be Afraid To Address Stereotypes With Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nMilena Magazin\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nGenerally, people have misconceptions about age gap relationships because of the implied power imbalance, potential fantasy fulfillment, or perceived mismatched maturity levels. With power, there\u2019s the myth of a younger woman dating someone twice her age and thinking she has \u201cdaddy issues.\u201d Sometimes people assume things about financial status, like if a woman dates an older guy, he\u2019s a\u00a0sugar daddy.<\/p>\n
Maybe your situation parallels one of these examples more than you would like. It\u2019s normal to feel uncomfortable about it, and you may even start to wonder if any of the stereotypes are true for your relationship. Instead of tip-toeing around the elephant in the room, bring up the topic directly with your partner to quell your anxiety. Here are a few questions you can ask to address any\u00a0insecurities you may have:<\/p>\n
\n- Does my age play a factor in your attraction toward me?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel like our age gap impacts the relationship at all?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel comfortable hanging out with my friends?<\/li>\n
- Are you embarrassed or ashamed to date someone my age?<\/li>\n
- Are we prepared to deal with the stereotypes about why people believe we\u2019re together?<\/li>\n
- How do you suggest we talk to our friends and family who judge the relationship?<\/li>\n
- Is this casual or can you see a long-term future together with me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Focus On Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\nIf you\u2019re unsure about moving forward with a romantic partner purely because of the age gap, pause. Don\u2019t let other people\u2019s criticisms and judgment be the only reason why you don\u2019t pursue romance. At the end of the day, if you\u2019ve met someone you\u2019re really into, it\u2019s worth taking the leap and seeing how the relationship plays out \u2014 as long as you determine it\u2019s truly a\u00a0healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, protect yourself by approaching the romantic\u00a0<\/strong>connection with care and ensuring the foundation of your relationship is built on trust. When you\u2019re confident in your worth, other people\u2019s opinions become less important.<\/p>\nLabadie, who is\u00a0<\/strong>in an age gap marriage with her husband who is 18 years older, recommends focusing on your relationship\u2019s strengths. \u201cWhat\u2019s important is knowing why the relationship works. No one else\u2019s approval will help your relationship,\u201d Labadie says. Lively and Reynolds could be concerned about other people\u2019s opinions of them, or they could be making cookies and having movie nights (and probably\u00a0trolling each other online). You deserve to enjoy your relationship, too.<\/p>\nCan Age Gap Relationships Last?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nFilippoBacci\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nResearch isn\u2019t entirely conclusive on the ideal age gap for a relationship or its connection to long-term relationship success. In fact, there appear to be mixed reviews.<\/p>\n
A 2019 study by the\u00a0Journal of Population Economics<\/em>\u00a0reported that couples with an age gap of one to three years had\u00a0high levels of relationship satisfaction. The study noted that the more significant the age difference (six to 10 years), the more likely for dissatisfaction to increase. However, a 2016 study by the\u00a0Galen Medicine Journal\u00a0<\/em>revealed that as long as the age gap between couples is less than 10 years \u2014 compared with more than 10 years \u2014\u00a0relationship satisfaction is actually higher.<\/p>\nThese findings might suggest that similar-aged relationships are more likely to be successful, but nuance matters. In both studies, researchers point out that a couple\u2019s success is not because they\u2019re born around the same time as much as it is about similar values, maturity levels, future goals, and lifestyles.<\/p>\n
Dating someone with an age gap may present a certain set of challenges, but Hill says it\u2019s nothing that you can\u2019t overcome with honesty and communication. \u201cIf everyone involved feels happy, loved, safe, and able to communicate well, there is no need to treat this relationship any differently than any other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Remember, Do What\u2019s Best For You<\/h2>\n
Even if you\u2019re secure in your age gap relationship, people may still talk. During those moments, keep in mind that usually, their comments are less about your relationship and more about their internalized views on love and dating. To combat the noise, it\u2019s crucial you know yourself and what you want so you can stay centered. Reflect on your personal values so that when people challenge your connection, you\u2019ll feel grounded enough to overcome insecurities and any external pressure.<\/p>\n
Age gap relationships can totally last, but it takes two to tango. Being a couple means communicating openly, being honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and putting in consistent effort. No one can answer if you\u2019re in the right relationship except for you. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship and you\u2019re both actively committed to learning and growing together, why not see where things can go?<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Don\u2019t deny yourself an experience to conform to social pressures. Take it from Labadie: \u201cIf it\u2019s a good relationship, it will last. If two people feel connected, their hearts are open, they like each other, they grow together, they repair disagreements and value the relationship, it will last as long as they want it to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Experts:<\/em><\/p>\nDr. Sarah E. Hill<\/em>, research psychologist and research consultant with\u00a0<\/em>Cougar Life<\/em><\/p>\nCeleste Labadie<\/em>, LMFT, relationship expert and founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling<\/em><\/p>\n\nThis article was originally published on\u00a0
![\"Age](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/11\/0c48a24a-06e5-4118-a804-682b259e7ae1-getty-1173815483.jpg?w=1320&h=880&fit=crop&crop=faces)
<\/picture><\/div>If you\u2019re dating someone and there\u2019s an age gap, you may have different ideas of what your relationship milestones are. For example, if your partner is super established with their career, but you love living with a bunch of roommates and bar hopping around Brooklyn until 4 a.m., it\u2019s important to voice what you value. Hill adds that being in an age gap relationship can create more uncertainty about life plans since you two might be at different life stages.<\/p>\n
Acknowledging your differences while celebrating common ground can create space for transparency. Actively make time to check in about your timeline throughout the course of the relationship. If you have differences, don\u2019t be afraid to call them out. The more you have conversations about your future goals, the more comfortable and confident you\u2019ll feel in the long-term.<\/p>\n
2. Accept That Friends & Family May Not Understand<\/strong><\/h3>\nNot having your relationship accepted can be hurtful, isolating, and discouraging. \u201c[Make sure] you\u2019re prepared for the possibility that not everyone will support your decision,\u201d Hill says.\u00a0<\/strong>If your loved ones don\u2019t approve, there are things you can to do manage the situation.<\/p>\nInstead of pretending the age gap isn\u2019t a factor, address it head-on by\u00a0asking for support\u00a0from your family and friends. For example, request for them to get to know your significant other before making funny jokes about their age. Sometimes, they may need \u201cwarming up\u201d to the idea of your age gap relationship. To help, try highlighting the good qualities about them, or even mentioning common interests your partner and your family share \u2014 like their mutual love of board games or taste in live music.<\/p>\n
If you sense that others feel uncomfortable about the age gap, ask them why. Many people judge age gap relationships because of overgeneralized stigmas, but that doesn\u2019t mean your relationship should be stereotyped, too. Help your friends and family understand why you chose your partner. You don\u2019t necessarily have to ask for their approval, but talking to them about your relationship can help them keep an open mind.<\/p>\n
During this process, let your partner be your teammate. They most likely understand the awkwardness you\u2019re dealing with, so help each other as you field uncomfortable questions from friends and deal with suspicions from family members.<\/p>\n
3. Don\u2019t Be Afraid To Address Stereotypes With Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nMilena Magazin\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nGenerally, people have misconceptions about age gap relationships because of the implied power imbalance, potential fantasy fulfillment, or perceived mismatched maturity levels. With power, there\u2019s the myth of a younger woman dating someone twice her age and thinking she has \u201cdaddy issues.\u201d Sometimes people assume things about financial status, like if a woman dates an older guy, he\u2019s a\u00a0sugar daddy.<\/p>\n
Maybe your situation parallels one of these examples more than you would like. It\u2019s normal to feel uncomfortable about it, and you may even start to wonder if any of the stereotypes are true for your relationship. Instead of tip-toeing around the elephant in the room, bring up the topic directly with your partner to quell your anxiety. Here are a few questions you can ask to address any\u00a0insecurities you may have:<\/p>\n
\n- Does my age play a factor in your attraction toward me?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel like our age gap impacts the relationship at all?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel comfortable hanging out with my friends?<\/li>\n
- Are you embarrassed or ashamed to date someone my age?<\/li>\n
- Are we prepared to deal with the stereotypes about why people believe we\u2019re together?<\/li>\n
- How do you suggest we talk to our friends and family who judge the relationship?<\/li>\n
- Is this casual or can you see a long-term future together with me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Focus On Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\nIf you\u2019re unsure about moving forward with a romantic partner purely because of the age gap, pause. Don\u2019t let other people\u2019s criticisms and judgment be the only reason why you don\u2019t pursue romance. At the end of the day, if you\u2019ve met someone you\u2019re really into, it\u2019s worth taking the leap and seeing how the relationship plays out \u2014 as long as you determine it\u2019s truly a\u00a0healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, protect yourself by approaching the romantic\u00a0<\/strong>connection with care and ensuring the foundation of your relationship is built on trust. When you\u2019re confident in your worth, other people\u2019s opinions become less important.<\/p>\nLabadie, who is\u00a0<\/strong>in an age gap marriage with her husband who is 18 years older, recommends focusing on your relationship\u2019s strengths. \u201cWhat\u2019s important is knowing why the relationship works. No one else\u2019s approval will help your relationship,\u201d Labadie says. Lively and Reynolds could be concerned about other people\u2019s opinions of them, or they could be making cookies and having movie nights (and probably\u00a0trolling each other online). You deserve to enjoy your relationship, too.<\/p>\nCan Age Gap Relationships Last?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nFilippoBacci\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nResearch isn\u2019t entirely conclusive on the ideal age gap for a relationship or its connection to long-term relationship success. In fact, there appear to be mixed reviews.<\/p>\n
A 2019 study by the\u00a0Journal of Population Economics<\/em>\u00a0reported that couples with an age gap of one to three years had\u00a0high levels of relationship satisfaction. The study noted that the more significant the age difference (six to 10 years), the more likely for dissatisfaction to increase. However, a 2016 study by the\u00a0Galen Medicine Journal\u00a0<\/em>revealed that as long as the age gap between couples is less than 10 years \u2014 compared with more than 10 years \u2014\u00a0relationship satisfaction is actually higher.<\/p>\nThese findings might suggest that similar-aged relationships are more likely to be successful, but nuance matters. In both studies, researchers point out that a couple\u2019s success is not because they\u2019re born around the same time as much as it is about similar values, maturity levels, future goals, and lifestyles.<\/p>\n
Dating someone with an age gap may present a certain set of challenges, but Hill says it\u2019s nothing that you can\u2019t overcome with honesty and communication. \u201cIf everyone involved feels happy, loved, safe, and able to communicate well, there is no need to treat this relationship any differently than any other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Remember, Do What\u2019s Best For You<\/h2>\n
Even if you\u2019re secure in your age gap relationship, people may still talk. During those moments, keep in mind that usually, their comments are less about your relationship and more about their internalized views on love and dating. To combat the noise, it\u2019s crucial you know yourself and what you want so you can stay centered. Reflect on your personal values so that when people challenge your connection, you\u2019ll feel grounded enough to overcome insecurities and any external pressure.<\/p>\n
Age gap relationships can totally last, but it takes two to tango. Being a couple means communicating openly, being honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and putting in consistent effort. No one can answer if you\u2019re in the right relationship except for you. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship and you\u2019re both actively committed to learning and growing together, why not see where things can go?<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Don\u2019t deny yourself an experience to conform to social pressures. Take it from Labadie: \u201cIf it\u2019s a good relationship, it will last. If two people feel connected, their hearts are open, they like each other, they grow together, they repair disagreements and value the relationship, it will last as long as they want it to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Experts:<\/em><\/p>\nDr. Sarah E. Hill<\/em>, research psychologist and research consultant with\u00a0<\/em>Cougar Life<\/em><\/p>\nCeleste Labadie<\/em>, LMFT, relationship expert and founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling<\/em><\/p>\n\nThis article was originally published on\u00a0
Instead of pretending the age gap isn\u2019t a factor, address it head-on by\u00a0asking for support\u00a0from your family and friends. For example, request for them to get to know your significant other before making funny jokes about their age. Sometimes, they may need \u201cwarming up\u201d to the idea of your age gap relationship. To help, try highlighting the good qualities about them, or even mentioning common interests your partner and your family share \u2014 like their mutual love of board games or taste in live music.<\/p>\n
If you sense that others feel uncomfortable about the age gap, ask them why. Many people judge age gap relationships because of overgeneralized stigmas, but that doesn\u2019t mean your relationship should be stereotyped, too. Help your friends and family understand why you chose your partner. You don\u2019t necessarily have to ask for their approval, but talking to them about your relationship can help them keep an open mind.<\/p>\n
During this process, let your partner be your teammate. They most likely understand the awkwardness you\u2019re dealing with, so help each other as you field uncomfortable questions from friends and deal with suspicions from family members.<\/p>\n
3. Don\u2019t Be Afraid To Address Stereotypes With Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nMilena Magazin\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nGenerally, people have misconceptions about age gap relationships because of the implied power imbalance, potential fantasy fulfillment, or perceived mismatched maturity levels. With power, there\u2019s the myth of a younger woman dating someone twice her age and thinking she has \u201cdaddy issues.\u201d Sometimes people assume things about financial status, like if a woman dates an older guy, he\u2019s a\u00a0sugar daddy.<\/p>\n
Maybe your situation parallels one of these examples more than you would like. It\u2019s normal to feel uncomfortable about it, and you may even start to wonder if any of the stereotypes are true for your relationship. Instead of tip-toeing around the elephant in the room, bring up the topic directly with your partner to quell your anxiety. Here are a few questions you can ask to address any\u00a0insecurities you may have:<\/p>\n
\n- Does my age play a factor in your attraction toward me?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel like our age gap impacts the relationship at all?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel comfortable hanging out with my friends?<\/li>\n
- Are you embarrassed or ashamed to date someone my age?<\/li>\n
- Are we prepared to deal with the stereotypes about why people believe we\u2019re together?<\/li>\n
- How do you suggest we talk to our friends and family who judge the relationship?<\/li>\n
- Is this casual or can you see a long-term future together with me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Focus On Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\nIf you\u2019re unsure about moving forward with a romantic partner purely because of the age gap, pause. Don\u2019t let other people\u2019s criticisms and judgment be the only reason why you don\u2019t pursue romance. At the end of the day, if you\u2019ve met someone you\u2019re really into, it\u2019s worth taking the leap and seeing how the relationship plays out \u2014 as long as you determine it\u2019s truly a\u00a0healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, protect yourself by approaching the romantic\u00a0<\/strong>connection with care and ensuring the foundation of your relationship is built on trust. When you\u2019re confident in your worth, other people\u2019s opinions become less important.<\/p>\nLabadie, who is\u00a0<\/strong>in an age gap marriage with her husband who is 18 years older, recommends focusing on your relationship\u2019s strengths. \u201cWhat\u2019s important is knowing why the relationship works. No one else\u2019s approval will help your relationship,\u201d Labadie says. Lively and Reynolds could be concerned about other people\u2019s opinions of them, or they could be making cookies and having movie nights (and probably\u00a0trolling each other online). You deserve to enjoy your relationship, too.<\/p>\nCan Age Gap Relationships Last?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nFilippoBacci\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nResearch isn\u2019t entirely conclusive on the ideal age gap for a relationship or its connection to long-term relationship success. In fact, there appear to be mixed reviews.<\/p>\n
A 2019 study by the\u00a0Journal of Population Economics<\/em>\u00a0reported that couples with an age gap of one to three years had\u00a0high levels of relationship satisfaction. The study noted that the more significant the age difference (six to 10 years), the more likely for dissatisfaction to increase. However, a 2016 study by the\u00a0Galen Medicine Journal\u00a0<\/em>revealed that as long as the age gap between couples is less than 10 years \u2014 compared with more than 10 years \u2014\u00a0relationship satisfaction is actually higher.<\/p>\nThese findings might suggest that similar-aged relationships are more likely to be successful, but nuance matters. In both studies, researchers point out that a couple\u2019s success is not because they\u2019re born around the same time as much as it is about similar values, maturity levels, future goals, and lifestyles.<\/p>\n
Dating someone with an age gap may present a certain set of challenges, but Hill says it\u2019s nothing that you can\u2019t overcome with honesty and communication. \u201cIf everyone involved feels happy, loved, safe, and able to communicate well, there is no need to treat this relationship any differently than any other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Remember, Do What\u2019s Best For You<\/h2>\n
Even if you\u2019re secure in your age gap relationship, people may still talk. During those moments, keep in mind that usually, their comments are less about your relationship and more about their internalized views on love and dating. To combat the noise, it\u2019s crucial you know yourself and what you want so you can stay centered. Reflect on your personal values so that when people challenge your connection, you\u2019ll feel grounded enough to overcome insecurities and any external pressure.<\/p>\n
Age gap relationships can totally last, but it takes two to tango. Being a couple means communicating openly, being honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and putting in consistent effort. No one can answer if you\u2019re in the right relationship except for you. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship and you\u2019re both actively committed to learning and growing together, why not see where things can go?<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Don\u2019t deny yourself an experience to conform to social pressures. Take it from Labadie: \u201cIf it\u2019s a good relationship, it will last. If two people feel connected, their hearts are open, they like each other, they grow together, they repair disagreements and value the relationship, it will last as long as they want it to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Experts:<\/em><\/p>\nDr. Sarah E. Hill<\/em>, research psychologist and research consultant with\u00a0<\/em>Cougar Life<\/em><\/p>\nCeleste Labadie<\/em>, LMFT, relationship expert and founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling<\/em><\/p>\n\nThis article was originally published on\u00a0
![\"An](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/21\/785e98b7-3263-482e-b9d0-bfd24bf0e280-getty-1432949192.jpg?w=1320&h=880&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&fp-x=0.6253&fp-y=0.336)
<\/picture><\/div>Generally, people have misconceptions about age gap relationships because of the implied power imbalance, potential fantasy fulfillment, or perceived mismatched maturity levels. With power, there\u2019s the myth of a younger woman dating someone twice her age and thinking she has \u201cdaddy issues.\u201d Sometimes people assume things about financial status, like if a woman dates an older guy, he\u2019s a\u00a0sugar daddy.<\/p>\n
Maybe your situation parallels one of these examples more than you would like. It\u2019s normal to feel uncomfortable about it, and you may even start to wonder if any of the stereotypes are true for your relationship. Instead of tip-toeing around the elephant in the room, bring up the topic directly with your partner to quell your anxiety. Here are a few questions you can ask to address any\u00a0insecurities you may have:<\/p>\n
- \n
- Does my age play a factor in your attraction toward me?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel like our age gap impacts the relationship at all?<\/li>\n
- Do you feel comfortable hanging out with my friends?<\/li>\n
- Are you embarrassed or ashamed to date someone my age?<\/li>\n
- Are we prepared to deal with the stereotypes about why people believe we\u2019re together?<\/li>\n
- How do you suggest we talk to our friends and family who judge the relationship?<\/li>\n
- Is this casual or can you see a long-term future together with me?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
4. Focus On Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h3>\n
If you\u2019re unsure about moving forward with a romantic partner purely because of the age gap, pause. Don\u2019t let other people\u2019s criticisms and judgment be the only reason why you don\u2019t pursue romance. At the end of the day, if you\u2019ve met someone you\u2019re really into, it\u2019s worth taking the leap and seeing how the relationship plays out \u2014 as long as you determine it\u2019s truly a\u00a0healthy relationship dynamic.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, protect yourself by approaching the romantic\u00a0<\/strong>connection with care and ensuring the foundation of your relationship is built on trust. When you\u2019re confident in your worth, other people\u2019s opinions become less important.<\/p>\n
Labadie, who is\u00a0<\/strong>in an age gap marriage with her husband who is 18 years older, recommends focusing on your relationship\u2019s strengths. \u201cWhat\u2019s important is knowing why the relationship works. No one else\u2019s approval will help your relationship,\u201d Labadie says. Lively and Reynolds could be concerned about other people\u2019s opinions of them, or they could be making cookies and having movie nights (and probably\u00a0trolling each other online). You deserve to enjoy your relationship, too.<\/p>\n
Can Age Gap Relationships Last?<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\n\n\n <\/picture><\/div>FilippoBacci\/E+\/Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n Research isn\u2019t entirely conclusive on the ideal age gap for a relationship or its connection to long-term relationship success. In fact, there appear to be mixed reviews.<\/p>\n
A 2019 study by the\u00a0Journal of Population Economics<\/em>\u00a0reported that couples with an age gap of one to three years had\u00a0high levels of relationship satisfaction. The study noted that the more significant the age difference (six to 10 years), the more likely for dissatisfaction to increase. However, a 2016 study by the\u00a0Galen Medicine Journal\u00a0<\/em>revealed that as long as the age gap between couples is less than 10 years \u2014 compared with more than 10 years \u2014\u00a0relationship satisfaction is actually higher.<\/p>\n
These findings might suggest that similar-aged relationships are more likely to be successful, but nuance matters. In both studies, researchers point out that a couple\u2019s success is not because they\u2019re born around the same time as much as it is about similar values, maturity levels, future goals, and lifestyles.<\/p>\n
Dating someone with an age gap may present a certain set of challenges, but Hill says it\u2019s nothing that you can\u2019t overcome with honesty and communication. \u201cIf everyone involved feels happy, loved, safe, and able to communicate well, there is no need to treat this relationship any differently than any other,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Remember, Do What\u2019s Best For You<\/h2>\n
Even if you\u2019re secure in your age gap relationship, people may still talk. During those moments, keep in mind that usually, their comments are less about your relationship and more about their internalized views on love and dating. To combat the noise, it\u2019s crucial you know yourself and what you want so you can stay centered. Reflect on your personal values so that when people challenge your connection, you\u2019ll feel grounded enough to overcome insecurities and any external pressure.<\/p>\n
Age gap relationships can totally last, but it takes two to tango. Being a couple means communicating openly, being honest about what you\u2019re looking for, and putting in consistent effort. No one can answer if you\u2019re in the right relationship except for you. If you\u2019re in an age gap relationship and you\u2019re both actively committed to learning and growing together, why not see where things can go?<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the heart wants what the heart wants. Don\u2019t deny yourself an experience to conform to social pressures. Take it from Labadie: \u201cIf it\u2019s a good relationship, it will last. If two people feel connected, their hearts are open, they like each other, they grow together, they repair disagreements and value the relationship, it will last as long as they want it to.\u201d<\/p>\n
Experts:<\/em><\/p>\n
Dr. Sarah E. Hill<\/em>, research psychologist and research consultant with\u00a0<\/em>Cougar Life<\/em><\/p>\n
Celeste Labadie<\/em>, LMFT, relationship expert and founder of\u00a0Willing To Love Couples Counseling<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThis article was originally published on\u00a0
![\"An](\"https:\/\/imgix.bustle.com\/uploads\/getty\/2022\/10\/20\/31f78e41-0225-4edf-9922-351bef38b8ad-getty-1434479813.jpg?w=1320&h=880&fit=crop&crop=focalpoint&fp-x=0.5&fp-y=0.356)
<\/picture><\/div>