3 Big Mistakes That May Push Him Away — And How to Fix Them

Relationships often feel like a dance: sometimes together, sometimes apart. If you sense your partner pulling back, you may be wondering what you’re doing wrong. According to relationship-writers, there are three common patterns many women fall into that can push a man away. Let’s explore them — and then look at how you can pivot for a healthier connection.

1. Becoming overly clingy

In the early days of a romance, it’s natural to feel excited, to want to be near your partner, to share experiences. But when interest crosses into dependency, when one makes the other person “the be-all and end-all,” the relationship can start to feel suffocating. One article notes: “If you make him your be and end all, he’ll start to feel smothered.” 1

When someone senses that you already expect more from the relationship than they’re ready to give, pulling away becomes appealing. 2

What you can do:

• Maintain some of your solo life and interests — your friends, your hobbies, your goals.
• Let the relationship evolve naturally rather than planning the future too soon.
• Communicate your feelings, but don’t let your whole world depend on him being present all the time.

2. Letting insecurity rule the dynamic

Insecurity can show up in many forms: asking “Do these jeans make me look fat?”, feeling jealous when an attractive person talks to him, or constantly seeking reassurance. The article states: “When you’re asking him… or nagging anytime an attractive woman talks to him, then you’re digging your own relationship grave.” 3

Psychology backs this up: low self-esteem or unresolved attachment issues can drive distancing behaviours. 4

What you can do:

• Work on your self-confidence — your sense of worth shouldn’t hinge solely on his approval.
• Recognise when your insecurities are driving your behaviours and pause before reacting.
• Express yourself calmly and constructively — one question “Do you still find me attractive?” is fine; repeated demands may feel like pressure.

3. Relying on him for your happiness

When you expect your partner to provide all your joy, you risk creating pressure. According to the article: “If he knows that he’s your sole source of happiness… then it’s likely to push him away.” 5

Independence blended with commitment is a healthier combination. You want to enjoy yourself — with him and without him.

What you can do:

• Keep doing things that fulfil you: your passions, hobbies, social life.
• Celebrate your life with or without him — this isn’t being cold, it’s being whole.
• Encourage him to have his own space too — two fulfilling adults make a stronger pair.

Putting it all together

It’s not about “blame” but about awareness. These patterns—clinginess, insecurity, over-dependence—are often unintentional. By recognising them, you allow space for a deeper, more resilient connection.

Here are a few quick checkpoints you can keep in mind:

• Am I independent in my life, or do I centre everything on this partner?
• When I feel anxious or jealous, do I know why—and do I pause before acting?
• Am I enjoying my life outside the relationship, or will I feel lost without it?

Final Thoughts

Healthy relationships thrive when both people feel safe, valued, and free to grow. If you spot any of the above patterns in yourself, remember: change doesn’t mean fault — it means evolution. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s connection, respect, and maturity.

Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been together for years, these reminders can help you steer the relationship toward greater closeness rather than distance.